Fear The Interrogation House!
by xxL Arc En Cielxx
Summary: All of the Gokusen characters are trapped in a jail-like building. Why? For your enjoyment, of course!
1. Welcome To The Interrogation House

"Nee, YANKUMI! We already graduated! Why are on a SCHOOL bus with YOU!?"

"Oh, don't complain, Kazama. I got this letter from the _FF Network._ They want us to come to their office."

"Oh, really?" questioned Ogata.

"Yes, I'll show you."

The six boys grabbed the letter out of her hand. "It's so official looking!" said Kuraki. They read it out loud.

"Dear Ms. Yamaguchi, we, at _FF Network_, would like to invite you to come visit us on August 12, 2009. We would also like you to bring six of your students from your first class at Akadou Gakuen."

"Oh, that's just BS," complained Honjo.

"Well, what are they doing here?" Kamiya asked, pointing to the big yakuza men sitting behind them.

"To make sure you don't all run off," she replied.

"And Kumai-san?"

"I got a letter, too. Here."

"Dear Mr. Kumai, we, at _FF Network_, would like to invite you to come visit us on August 12, 2009. We are sorry to ask you this so suddenly, especially since you are running a busy ramen shop, but it would be great if you couls come visit us," Yankumi read.

"Ugh. What do they want with us?" complained Honjo.

"We're about to find out," said Ichi. "We're here."

"How do you know?" Honjo said back.

Ichi pointed up, outside the window, to a thrity story building. "It says '_FF Network' _right there."

"Let's go!" yelled chipper shorty in the tracksuit.

They walked through the revolving doors, and was hit by the intense change in temperature. "Ah! So cooool in here!"

"They must pay a bunch for air conditioning!"

But, Yankumi was too busy staring at the nine familiar (and troublesome) faces, sitting the waiting area in the lobby. "Ah...ah...you..wha...ha?!"

"Aw, she's so shocked to see us, she's speechless!" mocked a dark-haired one.

"Aw, Noda, don't tease her so much! She'll karate chop us!"

"Oi, Yankumi. Still wearing tracksuits, I see?"

"Ne, Hayato. She didn't change at all."

"KUMA! Long time, no see!"

"Shin, Uchi, Yabuki, everyone!"

"O-omera! You guys! You're here!? What're you doing here?!" The pigtailed one was close to panicking. All nine held up official-looking letters, all with the _FF Network_ symbol on top.

"No way."

"It's true. 'Dear Mr. Sawada, we, at _FF Network_, would like you to come visit us on August 12, 2009. We are sorry to disturb you while you are hard at work in Africa, but it would be great if you could come a visit us.' "

"How do they know all this stuff?" asked Tsuchiya.

"Are they stalking us?!" cried the short redhead.

"Hello? I'm looking for Yamaguchi Kumiko and her party?" A young girl (probably a second year high scooler) came up.

"Ah! I'm Yamaguchi Kumiko."

"Hello, minna-san. I'm the head of the interrogation branch of _FF Network_ and your host."

"Hmph. I thought business people dressed in suits, not like teenage girls," commented Sawada.

"I AM a teenage girl." _Are tight jeans and sneakers weird?_

"I-i-interrog-ation?" choked Wakamatsu. "I'm sorry, we don't DO interroga-"

"Well, you're already here. So, you may not leave."

"You say s-"

"YOU. MAY. NOT. LEAVE." Her eyes were beamed at him. He could've sworn they flashed red.

"O-okay."

"So, when do we start this?"

"We're awaiting a few more guests." Three men walked through the revolving door. "And here they are!"

Yankumi froze.

"Ya-Yankumi? Are you okay?"

"A-ah...."

"Hello, men!" yelled the host.

"Shi-shi....Ku-kuj....Na-na..." stuttered Yankumi.

Tetsu and Minoru huddled into a corner. "Aniki! What'll you do! Three men that had Ojou's heart! All in once place!" Tetsu got all squinty eyed and smiled his fake smile that matched his eyes. Speechless.

The, five ladies walked through the revolving door. "Yamaguchi-sensei! You're here, too!" they chorused.

"Wow...a big reunion...almost as if it was planned..." Her speech was so slurred from the shock of everything coming in all at once. Everyone was socializing with each other by that time.

"Minna-san! For those who missed it earlier, I'm the head of the interrogation branch here! Please follow me!" They walked out of the main building. "Ok, I'll explain the rules to the audience as we make our way there."

"Audience?"

"Yes. You guys have been filmed as soon as you arrived within ten meters of the building."

"Stalker agency...." Odagiri whispered.

"Ok," the host continued. "Three calls (reveiws) will equal one chapter. Don't be afraid to overwhelm us with questions, because the more you ask, the more we have to work with." Smirk. "And the more we have to torture thme with," she whispered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Anyway, if it takes more than twenty minutes (two months) to recieve three calls, then _FF Network_ will just make up questions of their own. OH! I forgot to say! You may call me Niji-chan." (_A/N: My username means "the rainbow" if you don't know. And niji means "rainbow.")_

_Niji? What a sweet name. If her name is nice, the place must be too, and so must be the experience,_ they thought.

At that thought, they finally arrived at the building. It was surrounded by barbwires that had traces of electricity bolts come up every now and again. The building was tall and gray, and the windows were covered by bars. For a second, it turned to night and lightning flashed in the background.

"Ah..." everyone's mouthes dropped.

Niji smirked. "Heheh...Welcome to the Interrogation House, ladies and gentlemen." _How naive you guys are..._

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_Well, you guys read all the rules! I thought I'd try this format, instead of the chat/ script style. If guys prefer that style, from now on, just tell me. And, I am willing to advertise your Gokusen fanfiction here as well. _

_So....ask away! Dares acceptable!_

**Disclaimer: Me owns nothing.**


	2. Let The Madness Begin

Their host lead them into the building. It was full of hallways leading into hallways leading into doors leading into more hallways! Its a miracle no one would go hungry and get lost in this place.

"Here we are, minna-san." She opened the door and through that door was an ENORMOUS room. Everyone had enough room to spread their arms out, spin in circles, and no one would crash into each other. Provided they don't get dizzy and fall, of course.

Despite the size of the room, everyone was busy staring at one thing - the man that was already in there. Everyone's mouths dropped. There was huge wave of screams. It was a mixture of "MONKEY-FACE?!", "SARUWATARI?!", "KYOTO!?", and "AAAHHH!!"

"Calm down everyone, calm down. I was told that it was a great honor to be here, so I came. Then they locked me in here." He went on and on about how it was rude, disgraceful, blah blah blah...

Niji interrupted his list of complaints. "Well, this is the interrogation branch, so please cooperate."

Sawatari got smart. "Oh, really? Then what is a teenage girl doing in charge of this place?!"

" 'Cause I am. They needed someone conniving and enjoys torturing people." With each word, it seems as if her face and the room got darker and darker, and scarier and scarier. "But enough about me!" Automatic happy-mode. "Let's get started! Take your seats."

Everyone searched for a chair with their name on it. They sat in rows the ex-3-Ds sat together, the teachers sat together, as did the yakuzas. Yamaguchi sat with the Oedo Family.

"Hey, look! We have our first questioner! This is from YaoiFanaticFreak." The boys cringed at the name. "Oh, she has a few questions. Goodie." The way she said "goodie" was almost too perky. Fanatic's first question appeared on the giant screen on the wall.

_1. When are you gonna tell Yankumi that you love her, Shin?_

"Shin?" asked Niji and Yankumi.

Ex-3-D of Shirokin, but Shin of course, muffled they're laughs. Shin swore he heard "Hah! Serves him right!" and "Oooh, have some backbone, Shin!"

Cringe. He opened his mouth. "Hm? Wow, what imagination you have." _Nice save, Shin. That was a close one._

A sigh of relief came from Yankumi.

"Cool as usual, ne, Shin-chan?" asked Noda.

"Booo! Boring answer!" yelled Minami.

"You're supposed to tell the truth!" yelled Kuma. "Niji?"

"Well..." she started. "True...but our lie detector is broken! We'll have to accept it for now." A sigh of relief from Shin. "But we'll get back to it as soon as the lie detector is fixed!" He froze again. "Okay, next question!"

_2. Hayato, are you and Ryu an item now?_

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"A reaction, already, Yabuki-san? Any meaning to it?"

_Damn, she IS conniving._ "What? N-n-no! I-i--NO!"

Ryu grabbed the mic. "No." (Ryu, blunt as always.)

"How boring..." complained Hyuga.

"Let's move on."  
_  
3. Same question to Ren and Yamato! _

Ren stood. He ran towards the screen with a fist up screaming "AAAHHH!!!" Kuraki and Ichi held him back. "Ren, Ren! Relax!" "Calm, calm. It's just a question."

"I'm not answering that."

"Why? Shy? Don't want to expose anything?"

He stood again. "Why, you..."

"I'll answer that." It was Yamato. "We're not. We're just friends."

Niji smirked. "That was quite a reaction, though. You're just lucky our machines are broken....but, no worries!" she said to the audience. "We'll get back to it when they're fixed!"

_Great...,_ thought the five leaders and co-leaders.

"Oooh, dare time!"

_1. Shin! I dare you to tell the three men that Yankumi is YOURS ONLY!_

"No. Effen. WAY. I told you. I don--"

"She never said you had to love her..."

"Damn you..." He took a deep breath and walked up to Shinohara, Kujo, and Natsume. "You guys. Yankumi is mine. There. You happy?"

Niji pressed a button on a remote. _EEERRRRR!_ "NO!"

"What do you mean 'NO?'"

"Exactly what it means. Say it with more FEELING." _With all that love we'll eventually choke out of you....,_she thought.

"You guys. BACK OFF!" He leaned towards them. His eyes were burning. "Don't lead yourself to believe you can have her. Don't think for a second you can touch her at anytime. Don't even look at her like she's any more than an acquaintance to you." The anger and fire rose. The three men squirmed in their seats."Back. Away. She. Is. MINE. And ONLY mine." He turned to face the host.

She had a hanky in her hand. "That was...BEAUTIFUL! I'm happy! How 'bout the audience?"

"Wow, _Shin_. That seemed almost _real_," teased Uchi.

Shin bonked him on the head. "Baka."

"Alrighy, then! Next dare."

_2. Ryu! Dare you to wear a maid costume and sit on Hayato's lap until the end  
of this show!_

"Sorry, but I don't own a maid costume. I'll have to decline."

"Hold on." Niji walked into a door in the room labeled "Costumes." The label was coming off on the corners and they could make out a few letters from the previous label. There was T-O in the beginning and U-R-E in the end. What could that be? She came out with a frilly dress. "Here you go. Changing rooms' over there."

"Oh, Kami-dono-sama. What did I do?"

"Go on."

"No way am I doing this," Ryu said.

"C'mon, Odagiri-san."

"No way." He walked towards the exit and proceeded to turn the doorknob. And Niji proceeded to press another button on her remote and sent electric shockwaves through Ryu's hands. "OW!" He pulled his hand back and shook it in the air. "What was that!?"

"This place is extremely secure. The only way you get out is when the audience is one hundred percent satisfied."

"Great," he said as he grabbed the dress and walked into the changing room. He heard a conversation from the room.

"...place is crazy!" "Why's it so big?" "How long 'till we get out?"

"A few weeks."

"WHAT?!"

"Few weeks. There's rooms in here. Enough for everyone to share with one person. That's why its so big."

_Greeeeat. Weeks in this mad house._ He walked out of the room with his long, slender legs exposed. "Happy, audience?"

Niji pressed the button. _EEEEERRRRRRRR!_

"Oh, WHAT NOW?"

"Read it. You have to do part two. _'Sit on Hayato's lap.'_"

He walked toward Hayato, despite the awkward looks on their faces. He sat down, causing a certain bulge to pop up in Hayato's pants. Luckily, Ryu was hiding it, even though he could feel it, almost in between his butt cheeks.

"This is humiliating..."

The rest of ex-3-D of Kurogin fell of their chairs laughing. "Aw...too good...too good..." "HAHAH! I've been waiting to see this for over seven years! Since freshman!" "OMG! HAHAHA!"

"You guys are going to get it..." they chorused.

"Haha...ok...heh, let's uh...move on...HAHHAA!"

_3. Ren! Dare you to force Yamato to wear cat's ears and NEVER put it out!!_

Ren smirked and rubbed his palms together. "FINALLY! Something I'll enjoy!"

Yamato rolled his eyes as he took a deep breath and got ready to run away.

"Oh no, you don't!" he heard Ren call behind him. He looked back and we was waving a kitty headband in the air. And in the other hand was...a stick of eyeliner?

"REN! What the hell?? What's the eyeliner for?!"

"Whiskers!"

BAM! went Yamato. He looked back to see what he tripped on and saw a leg. His eyes went up the leg and onto...Honjo? "Hon...jo. You..will die."

"GOTCHA!" Ren had his arms around Yamato and he was struggling to get free. Ren plopped the cute little ginger colored ears, to match his hair, onto Yamato's head. "Catch, Kamiya!" He caught the eyeliner that Ren threw into the air and drew three lines on each of Yamato's cheeks.

"I hate you guys..." He sat back into the seat labeled "Ogata Yamato."

"Our next question is from KAT-TUN Lover and her question is...oh my gosh, you love KAT-TUN?! I do too! My favorite is Ueda! Let me guess...is your favorite Aka-"

"NIJI! FOCUS!"

"Oh, right. KAT-TUN Lover's question is..."

_My first question is to Sawada-kun. Have you told Yankumi yet?_

"Ooh. Another question to Sawada."

"What does Sawada-kun have to tell me?" asked Yankumi.

Sawada rolled his eyes in response. "What is it with you guys? I have NOTHING to say to Yankumi." He turned to find four pairs of eyes glaring at him. Each read something along the lines of "You big liar" or "Don't try to be so cool."

"Niji! Is that lie detector thing fixed yeeeeet?!"

"Oh, shush, Minami-san. We'll have it fixed. Eventually. Let's have a question from _FF Network_'s database."

_To all ex-3-D students: Excluding Sawada, Yabuki, Odagiri, Kazama, and Ogata, how does it feel to know that you are practically ignored in the world of fanfiction- scratch that - to be ignored in fandom PERIOD._

"Oooh. Harsh. That was rather mean, _FF_." The hostess's eyes were hopeful, dispite her words.

"We're ignored?"

"HEY! I'm the cutest one! How an _I_ ignored?"

"You know...all the questions and dares have gone to those five..."

"You're right!"

"Aw, man! That ain't fair."

"Ok," commented the host. "Obviously, they're...um...shocked." _Those guys really have big egos. You'd think Yankumi got rid of that, ne? _"Alright, guys. That's all the time we have for now! Tune in next time and send us questions and dares! Bye!"

Everyone in the room waved goodbye. Of course there were distinct demands and comments coming from the "ignored" ex-3-D.

"Hey! We never got to talk!"

"Don't you zoom out on me! Get back here!"

Poor guys.

* * *

_A/N:_ _Well, that's chapter two. Please, send reviews? I liked making the poor saps do dares ;] I held back on the couples for now because I don't want to rush it. I want to embarrass them into each others arms. 3 Thanks for the reviews!_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**


	3. Why Is This Not Illegal?

_Aww. I really don't like putting notes in the beginning cause it kinda ruin the whole chapter for me (especially with my crappy writing). But its mandatory._

_Two of you guys dared them to sing songs, right? Well, I only put bit less than half the song so it wouldnt be too long. (This chapters long enough already.)_

_Ada-chan; I already told you, but I'm just reminding. Your question are for chapter 4, okay?_

_Also, Thank you everyone for reviewing so quickly! Think of the 3,000 words in this chapter as a way of saying, "I'll be gone for a while. **Blame school**. No worries, the next chapter will be up by Thanksgiving! Hopefully."_

_*The Ninja Game is where two people hold hands and slap the others hand as hard as they can, but you have to try to move your hand out of the way, so your opponent ends up slapping their own hand with all their strength._

* * *

Over half of the ex-3-D crossed their arms and pouted and went _HMPH! _like spoiled little five year old girls who didn't get the pony she wanted for Christmas. While their faces looked angry on the outside, deep inside they wanted to cry in mommy's arms. How disappointed our little five year olds were. It almost made our host want to cut them some slack. Almost.

"Oh, stop pouting you guys!" ordered Yankumi. "You're acting like spoiled brats!"

"Whatever." "You don't know what it feels like, Yankumi." "People pay attention to _you._"

"Why, you little..." She was getting ready to bonk them on the head. It seems a few years away from her dissolved all of her (ahem) lessons.

Nijifinally came out of another room with a stack of envelopes in her hands. She walked around, handing everyonean envelope with their name on it. "You are not to open these until you are out of this room," she said as she passed them around. "These are your room assignments for the next few weeks, maybe months. You'll be sharing a room and anyone who tries to switch will end up in the cold cell for at least two nights. Any questions?"

"Why do have to share rooms?!" It was Honjo. "This place is effen' huge!"

"We have other interrogations going on. _FF Network_ is a very busy TV studio. Please note that you will also be filmed while you are in or out of your rooms. Curfew is at 10:30 p.m."

"What the hell? Curfew?"

"Argue and its the cold cell." She shot Minami the iciest glare ever. Even Yankumi's strength couldn't match this coldness. "Let's go!"

She lead them out of the interrogation hall and into the boarding halls. As they passed some other interrogations, they swore they heard some screams and moans. Was that a whip cracking? Oh, Kami-sama. Help our poor sitting ducks. Everyone started opening their envelopes.

"Shiiin-chaaan!" Noda. Still addressing his grown man of a buddy with "-chan." He swung his arm around him. "We're in the same room! See?" He held his paper with 669 on it next to Shin's.

"Baka." Bonk. ("Owchie," Noda compalined as he rubbed his head.) Shin's paper read 669. "You're holding yours upside down. It's 699, not 669." (_A/N: I actually held my laptop upside down for this xD)_

"Oh," Noda responded. "699...That's that big yakuza dude in Yankumi's family! AAAHH!"

"Sawada? 669?" Someone tappedhim on the shoulder. He turned around but didn't see anyone. That's a pretty lame and outdated joke, don't you think? Then he looked down and saw a little girl with pigtails. Scratch that. He saw his short teacher with pigtails. "Hey, roomie."

"Oh, gosh. This was set up."

Odagiri and Yabuki walked into room 711. Kazama and Ogata into room 123. Tetsu and Minoruintoroom 398. Fujiyama-sensei and Shiratori-sensei into room 756. "What the hell?! It's all same gender rooms!" complained Sawada. "I demand a re-room!"

"Do you prefer our cold cell or our rooms?"

Hyuga came to the door of room 668 with his abdomen exposed. "Choose the rooms, Sawada-san! The beds are sooooo soft!"

"Hyu-Hyuga! Put a shirt on! You shouldn't be exposing so much on national TV!"

"International, actually," Niji chimed in.

"My point exactly! I'll be able to pick up foreign girls while I'm here!" He tried to show a muscle. "Hey, you heard me ladies! I'll go as young or as old as the law lets me!"

"Oh, dear," Yankumi just rolled her eyes and pulled Sawada into their room. Hyuga was right, the beds are comfy. But, what are those little speaker-looking things in the ceiling corners? Are those microphones hanging there? Ok, where are the cameras?

"Lights out people!" yelled a familiar voice. That explains the speaker-looking things. "Sweet dreeeeeaaams."

* * *

_When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell. When you walk my way hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell. _What an oddly appropriate opening song.

"Konnichiwa, minna-san! Thank you for joining us on today's episode of _Interrogation: Fear It All. _I'm your hostess, Mayonaka Murasaki, but call me Niji! And thanks to the kind donation from one of our viewers, we have a new lie detector! Now, whenever a lie is said, you will here this." Their hostess mumbled a little lie to herself. _BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEEEP! _Red lights flashed and the entire room was in red-scale colors. Finally, the sound stopped and the room reverted back to its own baby shade colors. "And to thank our loving viewers, we will start off today's show with a few questioners from our live audience!" The camera swings over to the cheering audience. "Our first questioner is Kusano Akira. He bought us the enitre system, sound and lights, too. Kusano-san?"

"YAY! My question is to Odagiri Ryu-kun. Why the lack of maid costume today? It was enjoyable! Kon-chan thinks so too. Ne, Kon-chan?" He turned his head to face a little fox hand gesture as Yabuki glared daggers into this dude and his Kon-chan's head.

"The question was for the end of the show. This is a new episode. Therefore, no maid outift."

"Aw...we should bring it back!" Kusano cocked his head to the side in his cute lolly boy style.

"NO."

"Ok, let's have our next live audience questioner. This is from Domyoji Tsukasa. This will be our last live questioner for today."

"Yeah, my question's for Yamaguchi-sensei. Why haven't you heard Sawada out? Ever listened to him?"

"Hm? I do listen to Sawada-kun! Why, just last night we had a long conversation about how things were going in Africa! He told me he was lonely without m..." The audience leaned forward. "...'my idiots.' What a strong friendship!"

"Awww, Shiiin!" Shin's idiots cuddled him with love. "Aww, don't feel so lonely." "Yeah, we're here now."

"Get off me." He shrugged them off as the first question from KAT-TUN Lover came up on the screen.

_I'll give Take-chan some love. Have you hit it off with Maki-chan yet?_

"Ne, why does everyone insist on calling me Take-chan?"

"Cause Takeda-san doesn't suit your height," teased Tsuchiya.

"Well, Maki-chan, ne? She gave it a shot in college. We were together for a year, but then..." ("This is where I come in." Tsuchiya winked.) "She kind of caught us in a...compromising situation..."

_CRASH! _Everyone turned to see Hyuga on the floor, rubbing his cheek. "WHAT THE HELL?!" His expression was so full of shock, it was undescribable. Gold. "What was that?!" The thought of his two high school buddies doing the dirty would not get out of his head. The bigger surprise is that it was Take and Tsuchi, not Ryu and Hayato. Really, who would've seen this coming? Hyuga surely didn't, as the world could obviously see.

"Hey! I was all stressed and I needed to blow off some steam!" Tsuchiya yelled in his defense.

"Yeah, and I was the poor sap closest to him."

"Yeah, you screamed a lot, Take-chan."

Hyuga's face went from shocked to mortified. "Niji?" asked Take-chan. "Shouldn't you call an ambulance? He looks sick."

"I guess he's like Maki," Tsuchiya said, acting concerened for Hyuga. "They both have a bad history with that Ninja Game*."

Take rubbed his hands and the memory of Tsuchi slapping his hands came rushing back. "Owiie."

"Ehh, oookay. Let's move on."

_To Uchi, how's your work been?_

"Hm? Me?" He pointed to himself.

"Yeah, you."

"My work? Well, you guys know Ikemen Paradise in Ikebukuro, right?" He leaned over towards the audience, raising an eyebrow at them, trying to get them intrigued. Somebody's trying to get out of here quicker.

"Yeah, they tore it down for 'disorderly conduct.'" replied Minami. "Whatever that means."

"They're rebuilding it! I'm leading the construction team!" There was a wave of cheers from the live audience. A wave of deep, loud voices. The cheers of happiness were heard all throughout the huge one and a half acre room (think: one and a half football feilds). The female teachers just twitched their eyes at the vile things the male audience members were screaming. Just to give an idea, most of them were screaming, "YEAAAHH! My favorite club's opening up!" or "WOOT! That's _my _strip club!" Shiver. Shiver. Shiver. All of a sudden, everyone was Uchi's best friend, asking him for free passes into the place.

Niji went into a short coughing fit. "Ahem...ugh, ok, next question _now_."

_Kuma, How's the baby?_

"The baby? Oh, she's great!"

"Kuma, you had a baby?" asked Noda. "You never told me! I feel so alone..."

"Shush. She's about a year and a half now. Happy and healthy."

"Thinking about nursery school yet?"

"Noda, she's not even two."

"Oh, well what was her first word?" asked Noda, trying to fit in with the "We Know Kuma Has A Baby!" posse.

"Hm...if I'm not mistaken, it was 'kuma.' Think it was the teddy bear Minami gave her."

"WHAAT? Are you saying I'm the only one that didn't know?" Not good. Noda does not like being left out. He like to know things. It makes him feel smaart. The last time he was clueless about something is when he was the last to know about Shin's (ahem) high school secret. He almost went out and screamed it from the top of the roof eight years ago. And our host, knowing all this, yelled "Hit him with the tranquilizer!" And down went Noda. Hopefully, there aren't any questions directed at him for a while.

("Is that legal?")

"Ok, let's go," announced Niji, as if everyone in the room was conscious.

_Yankumi,_ the screen read. _Who's your all-time favorite student?_

"My favorite student..." she mumbled to herself. "Well, they're all special to me! They are my student and I would put my self on the line for them."

No lights. No bleeps. Only a voice that said, "Not telling the whole truth."

"Hm. Okay, fair enough. It's true I have my favorites in each class." She tapped her finger on the chin. "But, my all time favorite...hm... he would have to be in my first class." The audience sat up. "He would care for my well being as I care for his..." The audience leaned forward again, only this time, not to be disappointed. "It has to be Sawada-kun!" ("WHOO! YEAH!" yelled the audience.) "He visits me and was the first to know of my background. It has to be him!" she added a smile. Although, happy with her answer, Sawada still looked a tad disappointed. Knowing his teacher, there was much more innocence in that answer than she put into it.

"Let's finish up KAT-TUN Lover's part of the show with a dare!"

_I dare Odagiri-kun and Yabuki-kuntosing karaoke in front of everyone!_

"Say what now?" The floor on the other sideof the room descended and then ascended with a karaoke machine and microphones, just like in a classic karaoke room. "What doesn' this place have?" The regular white lights went low and was replaced be disco lights like in a club. The interoggees looked up to see a disco ball hanging from the ceiling.

"And they will be singing..." She motioned to the giant screen. Random letters appeared and started scrolling down into new random letters, some even diappearing and reappearing. It started to slow down and everyone could see that the random letters formed a little of a song its artist. The song is... "

The sound of a piano started filling the enormous room. _Time goes by bokura wa ikutsumo no deai to wakare wo kurikaesu._"Precious One, by KAT-TUN! I love this song! It helps me fall asleep."

_Here I am dareka no yasashisa ni amaete nanika wo miushinatta. _The two placed the mics near their mouths and inhaled.

"Ima sugisatta kisetsu wo kazoe hitorikiri no yoru nani wo omou?" they sing-read of the giant screen. (Tears started building up in everyones eyes, even the giant yakuza men's.)

"Sometime toki ni nazeka mune ni semaru loneliness. I don't want to be all alone setsunakute." ("Men don't cry, men don't cry," Wakamatsu chanted to himself.)

"One day itsu no hi ni ka mitsukaru sa precious one. Sora miagereba hora ne hitotsu no shining star." (The girls in the audience and the female teachers were sobbing by this time.)

"That was beautiful!" She blew into he hanky. "Encore!"

"NO." ("Moodkillers.")

"Fine...Our next few questions are from yurika'chii. Her first question is to Noda." She continued to hum Precious One to herself.

_Noda, do you still have a crush on Fujiyama-sensei?_

"Noda-san?"

"Zzzzzzz Zzzzz."

"He snores..." commented Fujiyama-sensei, making a disgusted face.

Niji walked up to their sleeping beauty. From behind her back, she pulled out a needle. "This won't hurt a bit..." she mumbled. "To me at least."

"YOWCH!" Noda jumped up and rubbed his ass(ets). "What was that for, ne?"

"You have a question." She smiled her happy, innocent smile.

"Me? Oh, cool. See, we're not ignored! Ok, let's see..." He read the giant screen. "-jiyama-sensei..." He glanced over to who he once called "Shizuka-chan." He felt his face burn up. Sweat was starting to build up around his collar. Why are things getting so blurry? Shaking...shaking... his knees. _Legs...weak..._"NODA!" was the last thing he heard before it all went black to him.

"Guess he's no good under pressure. Take him to the infirmiry!" Men in white protective suits marched in and put on a bed and rolled him out of the room. "I'll go with them!" yelled Fujiyama-sensei before she followed the me in white out the door. Well, isn't that sweet?

"Let's get back on track people!" What a heartless girl. "The next question is to Odagiri-san."

_Odagiri, while being a teacher-in-training with Yankumi, did you develop any feelings for her?_

There was an awkward moment of silence. _Crick. Crick. _Crickets? All eyes weren't just on Yankumi and Odagiri. They were also on Yabuki and Sawada as they were having a angry staredown. It seems as if they're evenly matched! Can anyone match the anger of these two young men? _Keep your slut's hands off of mine! _They might was well have been having a slap fight, but they wouln't do that in public. (At this moment, at least.)

"Aww," Yankumi poked Odagiri on the shoulder. "Did you have feeling for your beautiful young teacher?" she cooed at him as if he was a baby. _Now, why was this reaction different to when this question was asked of Sawada-san?,_ thought their hostess.

"I, um..." Odagiri started. "Well, I sort of..." Yabuki almost fell off his seat. "It was a surprised seeing her after all these years and she hasn't changed a bit." Looks or height. "It was overwhelming, is all. Happiness to see her was all I felt."

Everyone looked around for lights. No bleeps. Guess he doesn't love Yankumi. The next question appeared. "Its from an anonymous, signed Michiru." _Good idea leaving your name out, Michiru. These guys might come back to sue you._

_Dare to Shin: Sit with Yankumi and hold her hand!_

"Ugh, you people just won't stop, will you?" He sat with Yankumi and held her small hands. They were surprisingly soft, condisering all the stregnth she has packed in her little body.

"Well, how's it feel?"

"Shut up!" yelled Sawada.

"Well..." Yankumi began. "His hands are kind of sweaty." Shin felt his nerves run right up his spine. "And he's shaky. Maybe nervous?"

"Interesting. Let's see the next dare, ne? This one's also fron yurika'chii."

_Shin! Dare you to sing a song for Yankumi!_

The letters on the screen started rolling again. ("Oh, gosh. Hold her hand, now I got to sing for her.") And it landed on _Truth, by Arashi._"Well, this won't be too hard." He romed his hands from Yankumi's stood, stretched, and grabbed the mic. The letters took one more small shift. "Change of song!" yelled Niji. "The song is _Love So Sweet, by Arashi_!" "Oh, greeeeaat," complained Sawada. He trudged towards their karaoke corner.

_Whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah yeah yeah  
Whoa, whoa whoa, yeah yeah yeah  
Kagayaita no wa kagami demo taiyou de mo nakute kimi dato kizuita toki kara_

"Sing, Shin!"

Grrr. He put the mike to his mouth. Deep breath and...  
"Ano namida gumu kumo no zutto ue ni wa  
Hohoemu tsuki Love story mata hitotsu." ("Whoo! Go Shin-chan!")

"Kizutsuita yume wa kinou no kanata e." He shot glares at this idiots.

"Sora ni hibike ai no uta.  
Omoide zutto zutto wasurenai sora futari ga hanarete ittemo  
Konna suki na hito ni deau kisetsu nido to nai  
Hikatte motto saikou no Lady Kitto sotto omoi todoku  
Shinjiru koto ga subete Love so..." Deep, dramatic breath. "Sweeeeeeet."

"Aw, that was beautiful!" The girls in the crowd squealed their high-pitched fan girl squeals. Various cries were heard. ("If that old bag won't take you, I will!") "Ne, who knew Shinny could sing?" mocked Minami, imitating Noda.

"Shinny? I liked Shin-chan better."

"Ok, Shin-chan!"

_What was I thinking, making friends with them, _he angrily yelled at himself.

"What a nice way to end the show! With some love in the air." She stressed the word "love." "Until next time, folks!"

_When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell. _It started to zoom out of the interroggees._ When you walk my way hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell. _The volume of the cheers started to go down._ When you find a mane that's worth a damn and he treats you well. _The lights start to fade._ Well, he's a fool you're just as well, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL! _Black.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** **I own nothing.**


	4. Of Sweat, Tears, and Earwax

**A/N: *hides under table from knives* Is it safe now? That was too long of a wait for this chapter and I truly apologize for that. I want the next one up by Feb 14th, for Valentines Day, so send in love questions! (And to make it easier to embarrass them, send in _some_ non-yaoi kay?)**

**And, if I didn't use your question(s) this chapter, that means I'm going to use it for the Valentines one, kay?**

**Soshite...Kurisumasu omedeto gozaimasu to shinnen akemashite omedeto gozaimasu, minna-san! (Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone! Well...a late one at least.)**

Now that the camera is off, there was no more need for our interoggees to be worried about becoming the next victim of a dare - or worse - a question. But, at this particular moment, it is a our hostess that is panicking instead of our poor sitting ducks. She peaced back and forst grumbling incoherent things to herself. "Damn, he didn't show up this episode." That was the only thing anyone could make out. _Reila, Reila! Rei...Reila. Dare yori mo kimi wo aishiteru, _went someone's ringtone. She reached into her pocket and grabbed the annoying singing and vibrating device in her pants. "NAN DA TE YO?!" she yelled angrily. She shot up. "Désolé...c'est quoi?.....Oui, bien sur..... Est-il? Super! Envoyez-lui toi!" Sweat was no longer visible on her face.

"What was that?" asked a confused interoggee, Kamiya. "Swedish?"

"French," answered Ichi.

"Yeah, and some people who should have been here yesterday is finally here!" _Knock, knock. Knock, knock._"They're here! Please welcome..." She opened the door to reveal... "Kashiwagi Yutaka and Baba-sensei!"

_Crick. Crick. Crick. Silence._

"Yamaguchi-sensei!" the newcomers chorused. "What a coincidence to see you here!"

* * *

A day off. The interroggees are not going to get another one of these in a while. Let's see...what is there to do? You could relax in the spa and get a back massage. Or you can work out in the gym! Maybe pig out in the buffet hall? No? No is right. No one wanted to risk getting lost and going hungry in the place. So, everyone was in the billiards hall. Money was on the line. So far, playing five games, Niji is undefeated. "Hayato-san. Your turn. How much are you betting on this game?"

"I've got two thousand yen on this." He stretched his arms and back. "No way I'm letting a high schooler kick my butt at my game."

Hyuga begged to differ. "Hayato, Take has beaten you at this after he just learned how to hold the stick," he commented as he chugged down some beer. Takeda grinned.

_Bonk. _"Shut up! That was years ago. I've practiced."

"Suuuure." After another hour, everyone was either out of money or too scared to loose their money. There was the other choice that Niji offered. "You can pay with your body. The more you lose the longer you stay here." Kazama and Hayato, being the overcompetitive idiots they are, lost three more games a peice. They ended up in the building's infirmary. Bruises and bloody noses is all they've been given. They'll be back for the next episode in no time.

* * *

_God must hate me, He cursed me for eternity. God must hate me, maybe you should pray for me. I'm breaking down and you can't save me. I'm stuck in hell and...I wanna go home._

The audience cheered and it zoomed into the hostess. "Welcome back for another episode of _Interrogation: Fear It All._ That song was God Must Hate Me, by Simple Plan. Today is a special episode because we'll be asking more questions than usual as apology for not having an episode for a while and as a thank you for staying with us! We'll cut right to the chase and we'll be skipping live audience questions for now. And today's first questioner is...KAT-TUN Lover! Would it be safe to say that you are a regular fan now?" Her first question appeared.

_I dare the five heads from each class (Sawada, Yabuki, Odagiri, Kazama, and Ogata) to dance off! The female teachers (Yankumi, Fujiyama, Kawashima, Shiratori, Takano, and Ayukawa) are the judges._

"Ooh, dance off. Nice." The floor under the giant screen decscended and then came back up with a new type of flooring and giant speakers playing hip hop music. The giant disco ball returned and gave off the only lights in the room. The five heads (surprisingly) happily went to the dance floor.

"Yeah. Those dance lessons from the Kitagawa guy is finally going to pay off, ne, Ryu?" asked Yabuki, stretching his arms.

"Yup."

"You guys got lessons from a Kitagawa?" asked Ogata.

"Yeah." Sawada chimed in.

"Aw, YOU TOO?!" Kazama screamed. "I feel so left out." Major disadvantage for him.

Music started to play. It kind of sounded like Michael Jackson's _Thriller_. But...the a more modern sound to it. Whispers were heard. _Shivers of fear might come in the night. Just let it go, you'll be fine._

"Hey, I know this song!" "This is from that one band, right?"

The dancers were finished stretching and got into positions, lined up one next to the other. _Moments of sadness might bring you down. Remember the word: STOP!_At that word, the dancer held out and arm, palm facing the audience. The guitar played for a few seconds and they went into freestyles, one (attempting) flipping. They freestyled for the first verse. Yabuki and Odagiri seemed to know what they were doing. At the words _Story_ and _Slowly_ and the end of the first two lyrics they slid their bodies to the side.

_DON'T YOU EVER STOP! _They simultaneously dropped to the floor. All except Kazama. _Wakatteru, don't stop! _They extended an arm across their bodies, some to the right, some to the left, pulled their arms back like they were harshly opening a door and jumped, moving their bodies forward. _Unmei wa Don't stop! _They repeated, but with the opposite arm. _Daremo minna kameshimete iru! _They all did something that looked like a hiphop-ized version of the chacha, swinging their hips from side to side. All except Kazama, who decided to do some impromptu leprechaun dance.

_Stop! _They all dropped once more, while Kazama jumped up._ Kizutsuite Top! _They jumped up again, thrusting their arms up. _Kono machi ni akogarete mayoi konda. _Freestyle. Sawada could cause a storm with all that he's doing. Ogata can JUMP! And who knew Yabuki could shake his hips like that? ("KYAAA!" went the fangirls and...Shiratori-sensei?) _Massuguni mitsumete. _They all spun, and for once, Kazama was with them._ Don't you ever stop. STOP! _At the final stop, they put their palm facing the audience, like in the beginning. The audience cheered, but the peircing shrieks of happiness were overwhelming.

The judges wrote the name of the best dancer on their peice of cardboard. "Time to reveal the winner!" The ladies flipped their cardboard answers. "Kawashima-sensei said...Sawada-san!"

"Sawada-kun did a lot during the freestyle. He was doing this thing while he was spinning, something from a music video I saw. Impressive."

"Okay, fair enough. Fujiyama-sensei and Ayukawa-sensei said...Yabuki-san!"

"HAI! Yabuki-kun was the most attrative with his sexy hip thrusting!" They stood and started cheering. The (fangirls/boys in the) audience joined her.

"Okay, okay lets keep it down...erg...both Tanako-sensei and Shiratori-sensei were tied for Odagiri-san and Yabuki-san."

"They knew what they were doing!" said Shiratori-sensei.

"Yes, and it looked very fluent to them, they weren't hesitating. Almost like they've done this before!" Tanako-sensei added, saying it in an as-a-matter-of-fact way.

"And Yamaguchi-sensei said...KAZAMA?"

"Hai! Although he was not very...ugh..." Ahem. "...good, he stood out! He did his very best!" ("Oh gee, thanks, Yankumi," commented Kazama.")

"Ok...so what's the prize?" asked Yabuki, like the impatient five-year-old girl he is. "Is it a car? It better be. 'Cause you know, I was the best."

Niji looked at one of the index cards in her hand and mumbled what she was reading. "Hm...nothing. Your prize is..." Drumroll! "...the pride of winning!"

"That's it?" the dancers asked in simultaneous disappointment.

"Fine. And the winner doesn't have to answer one question of his choice. Only for this episode. Happy?" They nodded their heads like good little boys. "Okay, since Sawada-san and Yabuki-san both came in first with a tie...let's let the audience decide!"

The waves of fangirlind screams ran through the two and half acre room. The fangirls and fanboys got out their audience remotes with the options of A, B, or C on them. The screen read, "A: Sawada Shin. B: Yabuki Hayato. C: Bear my children!"

The votes were counted the screen showed the placings one by one. The screen read, "Third place: Yabuki Hayato." Yabuki gaped. The screen flipped as he almost screamed from shock. "Second place: Bear my children! First place: Sawada Shin!"

Ex-3-D of Kurogin was on their stomach, pounding their fists on the floor with tears coming out of their eyes. Even cool, calm Odagiri was laughing. "H-He lost! To-to birth!" they said through their laughs and giggles. "Oh, this is too good!" ("My hips have never failed me before," Yabuki whined to himself.)

As soon as she could stop giggling, Niji said, "Okay, moving on...hehe..."

_Kujo-sensei, How was Hokkaido?_

Kujo-sensei gladly opened his mouth to answer, but Yabuki cut with "What the hell?! He gets a simple question like that and we - mhmmph!" He turned around and met the eyes of a six foot five muscular body guard, who was now lifting him and holing like a baby, carrying him back to his seat. The unnamed bodyguard gave him a glare and powerful as his arms that read "Shut. Up." Kujo-sensei continued to answer.

"Well, it was amazing! I thought that after seeing Yamaguchi-sensei's teaching styles, I needed to improve my own! So the teachers' convention there was very helpful! I learned new methods that will definitely keep my students attention and how to help them while they're in need and - "

"OKAY! That must've been quite a trip!" Niji cut in. _Obviously, you didn't apply to those "attention grabbers" to your answer..._ "Our next question is to Tetsu-san!"

_Tetsu-san, are youever going to reveal your secret?_

"E-eh-eh...eeeeehh???"

"A-aniki! What're you going to do?"

"S-secret? I-I...we- when I? Ehh?" A little voice in his head whispered to him saying, _"All you have to do is not lie."_ The lightbulb went on. "When it comes time. I will."

"Hm...fine," said their hostess.

_Shin! You never took the lie detector test for the first question. Same to Yamato and Ren and Ryu and Hayato!_

Without thinking, Shin automatically said, "I'd like to use my prize from the dance-off for this question, please." ("Damned fangirls..." the four losers muttered.)

The first scene played on the screen. _"No," someone said into the mic. It was Ryu._ Sweating and with hearts beating quickly, Yabuki and Odagiri awaited the answer. This has to be the longest five seconds of their life.

_That answer is... _the computerized voice started. _...true._

_BOM! _Everyone turned around saw their hostess...on the floor completely wide-eyed. With what emotion...? No one could tell.

_Disappointment..._ she thought to herself and she picked herself up and placed herself back on her chair. "Ok...now let's see the one for Yamato and Ren," she said slowly...still stunned from...whatever came over her. After the scene played the voice said: _That answer is...true._

....seriously? I guess that's not too disappointing... Niji sucked up her diappointement and moved on to the next few questions.

"Hm...hey, it's Ada-chan! We missed you last episode! Right, guys?"

"Who?" they asked at different times. They sounded like a terrible chorus.

"You remember. Our first questioner ever! Fanatic? You should be thankful for her!"

"Oh, her. Yeah...suuuure." The sarcasm was too obvious.

"Her first question is...for Tsuchiya-san!"

_Tsuchiya! Which one do you like? Take-chan or Hyuga?? *grin*_

"Hey! What's with the grin at the end?!" demanded Tsuchiya. ("Well, Tsuchiya-san?") "Well, Niji-chan? How do you want me to answer that? I mean, there are different ways that I could answer this and..." _FWACK! _"OW! What was that for?! Who hit me?!" He turned as he rubbed the back of his head. He saw a young boy with red hair. Wait, no. It's just a short man, his friend, Takeda. "Take? What was that for?!"

"You can tell them Tsuchi. I won't care. It's been long enough."

He put his arm around the redheads shoulder. "But, Take? What about your mom? She'd be watching this, you know?"

"It's okay. You can go ahead and te-"

"OI! Tsuchi! What is he talking about?!" Everyone turned and saw Odagiri, who was still sweating from the dance battle and looked like we was ready to slap a bitch. ("Hey, Ryu," Why're you getting all worked up?" asked Hayato. Ryu completely ignored him.)

"N-nani mo! Nothing! It's nothing!" He stretched his arms out, palms facing toward Odagiri. He shook them the way your head nods "no."

"Nothing?!" Takeda exclaimed. "What do you mean?! Are you saying this relationship means nothing to you? That I'm just there for pleasure!?"

"OI! What's he mean by 'relationship' and 'pleasure?'" Odagiri asked. ("This is getting tense," chimed the hostess.)

"'Relationship' as in 'friendship' and 'pleasure' as in...uh...'fun!' Like when we hang out to stop from being bored?"

_BLEE! BLEEEP! BLEEEEEEP! _The room was in red-scale.

"LIAR, TSUCHI! YOU TWO-TIMER!" Odagiri and Takeda simultaneously accused.

Well, I guess that explains why the scene from before came up as true.

Yabuki was two seconds away from going into a coma and Hyuga's mind was blank. Literally.

"Ahem," our hostess cut in. "Well, hopefuly, that answered your question Ada-chan." (Tsuchi placed his head on his hands. "I can't believe I got caught," he mumbled.) "Let's go onto your next question."

_Tetsu-san, do you still love the one you love? (I know you know what I mean *wink*)_

"Ge-ge-ge-ge-gege-ge-eeeehhhh?!"

"A-Aniki! Are you okay?" Minoru slapped his aniki's forehead and he recieved a slap back.

"Bakaaa!" he cleared his throat. "Hehm...I, uh, I do. I still love her very much. She is very special to me and will always be."

"Heeehhh? Tetsu! I didn't know you were in love!" Poor oblivious Yankumi. "Who is she, who is she??" she nagged.

"Hm...that was quick. I thought he would faint for a good five seconds. Oh well."

_Shinohara-san, after Yankumi's students saved her from losing her job, you said to Tetsu-san that you would fight hom for "her" sake. Does that mean you truly love her?_

"Y-you saw that? I thought that was a private thing." ("HEY!" Kashiwagi butted in. "I was there too! And yes I do!") "Well, I am a man of my word. Yes...I do." (Sawada bolted up in his seat.) "And after seeing her again, I realized that I still do." After he said, those words, chills went up everybody's spines. They saw the one thing the would scare them more than the hostess herself - her smile. It was a happy smile. A smile that also read "I'm glad you said that."

"I'm glad you said that, Shinohara-san. That is perfect timing for our next dare. This one is from FreakChick42, a new viewer."

_The four suitors (Sawada, Shinohara, Kujo and Natsume) should have some sort of physical battle involving jello and q-tips._

"Perfect timing, don't you think?" ("This was set up.") "I think so. How about...we add Tetsu-san, Kashiwagi-san, and Baba-sensei to that mixture! The more the merrier, right?"

"We'll do it!" declared the police officer and the gym teacher. (_Noobs, _everyone thought. _They have no idea what they're in for._)

"Hm...she said 'q-tips and jello,' so that leaves a lot of freedom for me..." Niji mumbled. As she incoherenty (incoherent to the others, at least) mumbled to herself, the section where the dance floor once was is now replaced with a pool of lime green jello. Wait...what're those things that are jiggling inside the jiggly jello?

"Ew...what is that stuff inside the jello?" asked Ayukawa-sensei.

"Hm..." Niji started. "I think it's donated earwax."

"EW!"

"What? It was donated!"

"Does that make it any less gross?" Shiratori-sensei asked unsarcastically.

"No...but...just let me explain the rules!" She turned to the comptetitors. "Ok, you all have to go into the pool of jello and collect as much earwax as possible in two minutes. After two minutes, you can use these..." she tossed each of the giant q-tips. "...to whack any opponent into their own bucket." Baba-sensei's hand shot up. "Yes?"

"How are we going to make them fit into their bucket?"

"The buckets..." Out of (seemingly) nowhere buckets that were three feet tall and had a six feet diameter appeared at each of the competetor's feet. "...are kind of big."

"Got it," he replied nervously.

"Ok...where was I? Oh, yeah. And then you may proceed to throw the earwax at each other. One with the least earwax on them wins!"

Sawada's hand slowing made its way in the air. "From my knowledge, earwax that isn't sticky. We'll all be clean."

"UGH! Don't you people listen to me?! I said it was _donated_ earwax. This stuff has some honey and glue mixed with it. It touches you, it's not coming off unless you make an alliance with someone and they use the q-tips to clean it off you!"

"We can form alliances?"

Niji covered her mouth and her eyes read "Why did I say that?!"

"Yeah...fine. But remember, if you're cleaning someone up, you're wide open....and...begin!" At the sound of the whistle, the seven men dived into the pool of jello. Three...two...one.

"Hey! What's with this jello? It's bottomless!" said Natsume-sensei.

"Not bottomless, just about twenty feet deep. There's a lot of earwax there!" Three...two...one.

Sawada was first to come to the surface with an armfull of earwax. And as he tries to get out of the pool..."Hey! What gives? I can't get out!"

"Oh, did I neglect to mention? The jello sticks to fabric. The only way anyone's getting out is if you play in your birthday suit," she answered with a perfectly straight face. She sure as hell set this up.

"Are you serious?!"

"Yep."

"Ugh." The other men heard and started...erm...to "put on" their birthday suits. At least five people's ears popped from the sound of "KYAAAAA!s" and other fangirl-ish screams. With all their mental power, the seven men continued their battle. All of them didn't bother to ask what they were battling for anyway.

After two minutes and five fangirls that fainted, the earwax battle was to begin. It seems no body wanted to risk being hit by forming an alliance, until finally... "Shinohara! How 'bout just like old times, ne?"

"You got it, Kashiwagi!" They charged towards Kujo-sensei screaming "RAAAA!!" and their dingdongs swinging side to side. ("Oh, eeeww. I feel my sperm dying inside me," said Noda. Oji-chan did the responsible parent thing and covered Yankumi's eyes.) And in went Kujo, covered in sweet earwax.

He looked for help. "Ne, Natsume-kun. Help me out and I'll owe you one." He stretched out his hand and Natsume-sensei shook it. "Deal." After wiping as much earwax off of Kujo with the giant q-tip as possible, the starting throwing it at random people like cannons! Ren got hit on the back of his head ("My hair!!") and some female teachers got hit on their chest ("My dress!" "Hey, isn't that _my _dress?")

"HEY!" Niji called. "This is taking a while. This ends when someone is one hundred percent covered in earwax!" At about this time, no one was squeaky clean and no one was one hundred percent covered either. No one was without a partner either...except for the youngest comptetitor.

The seven men looked at each other and read each others minds. _Get him._The older men charged at Sawada scarily similar to how Shinohara and Kashiwagi charged at Kujo. With dingdongs swinging about, half the men threw earwax at him while the other half forced him closer and closer into his bucket. Finally..._ GAME OVER!_ yelled a robotic voice.

"Ok, let's see who the cleanest is," said Niji. She awkwardly looked at each of the men for no more than three seconds and pointed at one. "Eenie. Meenie. Minie. MOE." It landed on Tetsu.

"Whoo! Go Aniki!" Tetsu would've smacked him on his bald head if he was wearing clothes.

"Looks like the winner is going to...kiss Yamaguchi-san!"

Tetsu gulped. He couldn't move, but then he realized he was getting closer and closer to his Ojou. He turned and realized he was being pushed. He finally ended up near Yankumi and gulped again. "It's okay, Tetsu. It's for the good of the game!" he said to himself. Tetsu closed his eyes, bent down and kissed the softest lips ever. It tasted sweet and like...teriyaki? He opened his eyes and... _SLAP! _"MINORU! OMAE WA MAJI DE BAKA DESU YO!"

"Sorry Aniki! Oji-chan said I had to!"

Tetsu looked around hastily. "Wha-whaaaat?" Everything went black to him.

"Someone get these people dressed and send Tetsu-san to the infirmiry!" People in white came again and brought Tetsu to the infirmiry. They also lifted and threw the six concious men into the changing rooms. "Let's continue without them. Look! We have another smart person, an anonymous questioner by the name of Liz. And Liz says..."

_To Shin: I dare you to kiss Ren!_

"STOP!" Niji yelled to some men in white. Leave Sawada here for a second."

The men in white ran towards Kazama after reading the screen. Before either could think or blink, their lip were crushed against each other. "Mission complete," the men in white said. Then they turned and continued to throw Sawada in the changing room.

"Wow, that quite a scene. Okay...I'm almost hesitant to say this but, our next questioner is Devi no Kaze."

_Yamato: Which will you choose: Ren or his sister?_

"I'd obviously choose Ren," he replied, without even giving their hostess a chance to harass someone a little. "He's my best friend and I barely know his sister. So, yeah."

"Uhm, I don't think that's what they meant and I-"

Sawada, from behind the door or the door labeled "COSTUMES," came to his defense. "Devi said choose. That leaves an open range of definitions for 'choose.' I'm guessing Ogata interprets it as 'choose whose a great friend.'" Ogata-kun nodded.

"Well, Sawada-san," Niji said. "That was awfully nice of you. Are you trying to make up for something you just recently did?" No one expected an answer and no one gave an answer. This girl just had to squeeze some embarassing comment into this. Sawada slipped back into the giant closet/room.

"Okay, this one is from bethspore4 and her question is..."

_To Yamato, what would you have done if Ren died? What is he to you anyway?_

Not willing to say anything, everyone turned to the ginger-haired kid and the boy sitting next to him. Yamato suddenly felt the room become colder and goosebumps grew on his arms. He bit his lip and looked up to see everyone staring at him with concerned eyes.

"If Ren...was gone...I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know how to handle it. Either...I would..." He sniffedand blinked hardly...trying to fight the inevitable tears. "Either I woud follow him...or - _he_ will have what he deserves.

"The only thing that would matter to me is-is..." Liquid running down his cheek burned. "Ren...is-is the best in my life. R-Ren...how could you almost leave me like that?!"

Kazama was in shock. He had no idea how much Yamato was afraid for him.

"R-Ren..."

Suddenly, Odagiri and Takeda ran up to Yamato and started crying. "We've lost someone, too," they said. "Someone who we thougt was important but was just..." (Tsuchiya felt the daggers that the fangirls were staring into his back and his heart.) (Ren also felt the dagger-y stares. "What did I do??")

Now, the hostess was sniffing, the five female teachers were tearing, and the fangirls in the live audience were sobbing and saying "How sad!"

The group of redheads hugged each other with tears and the room was fading to black and tears were the only thing to be heard.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**


	5. Announcement

Konnichiwa, minna-san. If you're a person subscribed to this story, then you must be staring daggers into the monitor right now, hoping that they'll reach me. And you must be screaming, "If you're going to upload something, let it be _part_ of the next chapter!" Well, I have to say...

**Gomen nasai! Hontou ni; gomen nasai.**

I've been so busy with school and my grades have been dropping terribly.

But, there is some good news; I'm on spring break this week, so I'll have some time to work on the next chapter. It _should_ be up before spring break is over.

And... school is not the only thing to blame. I could've had it up two months ago (( *hides under table* )), but I was just so distracted by GaiaOnline (( Its freaking addictive! )) and KAT-TUN had new singles and PVs finally coming out and I got so excited and did a whole bunch of projects...

Now that KAT-TUN is going and Asia Tour _without Jin_ and Jin is doing two concerts in LA _without KT-TUN, _I'm practically on my death bed. I will die if they break up (( *cries* )) But I heard that it'll be just like when Jin went to LA three/four years ago...

So, I'm basically a wreck with my grades _still_ dieing and KAT-TUN_ almost_ dieing.

I'll do my best for you guys!

Thanks for sticking with me and my unstability

~ L'Arc


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